Am I supposed to monetize off of this thing?

Life has its moments of creepy between-scene meaningless interludes and I live for them. At least I'd like to. Imagine, that a little typed experiential, emotional blog could pop-off into something that could sustain me for the rest of my life. Ha! That'd be miraculous and lovely.

I'm sitting here at the late night pizza shop-- at 8:47pm lol-- just to grab a bite and type until I'm ready to go home, and they're playing alt rock or maybe it's just called rock, idk I'm a 22 year old black girl from Florida.

They have national geographic on the tv and I got captivated in it and the deep silence hiding behind the music. It almost dystopian, but i guess to someone like myself who loves when things are just almost dystopian maybe it's actually utopian. WHO KNOWS!

I really want to get this first publication out because I've drafted a more true, meaningful peice for later and something about my FIRST EVER article diving straight into me contemplating whether or not I'm evil felt a bit abrupt lol like hi let's get to know each other first or something...?

But I don't know y'all... about this whole monetizing thing... I just got a offer to get like $500 to do google ads or something like ah, thats how these people do it.

Real offer or not.. I mean it wasn't even free to set up this website; everything comes at a price. I watch a lot of podcasts on youtube and if you pay close enough attention as a naive.. you'd find that some of them will have no ads at all, some will have TONS of ads, some of them will only have sponsorship breaks, and it hit me like.. this is how these become monetized... why else would a brand need to 'sponsor' a video.

Then I was thinking back to Sex and The City and I know that many of my friends have not even seen it (highly recommend) but anyways I'll explain for their sake. The main character has a tiny little column in the New York Times about the trends and what not that she finds in the sex lives of those around her.. and herself.. But y'all. This was like her JOB, like paying for her new york apartment job. And now that I'm thinking about it SHE HAAAD to be a nepo baby. Like her parents probably had some kind of status/money that streamlined her journey no way! All of her friends had more serious careers, Law, Accounting, Real Estate... it was never stated where she got her start from but very implied. Carrie was just a girl like myself... It never gave hustler, it gave cute shoes, a touch of daddy's money and rich boyfriends. There's nothing wrong with being a nepo baby! How fortunate! For me it might be giving nepo, a touch of parents financial support but unfortunately it quuite literally never gave rich boyfriend. But I don't want it to give boss woman either... child it might be giving 50/50. It's possible I'm too much of a strong-willed independent free-spirit for a CEO but too soft and dependent for a non-hustling husband...

And there's nothing wrong with that either! Don't allow Kevin Samuels words although somewhat wise they are, to box you into a category! And if you don't know who Kevin Samuels is you'll have to google that one, God rest his soul.

We were all created uniquely, equipped with a unique set of circumstances and tools to navigate ourselves throughout this world, even siblings of the same house! Point is I just need to use mine to first bring God glory in whatever I do fr and second help me depend on the pharmaceutical industry A LOT less (my chosen degree/career path). That really doesn't even have to mean financially, I just don't want being a Doctor of Pharmacy to become the substance of my life.

Like I said I'm just a girl, black, 22, in Southeast America, thuggin, trying figure it out, who might occasionally bump some rock music and watch a nature documentary and become inspired, who reads her bible carefully, who drinks fast and thinks slow, and this is my blog... Thx x.